Woke up early April 1st and met the legend Rob S. at Liverpool Station. At this point in my life, I knew Rob to be a sensible well-mannered and respectable member of society. What this tournament will do. It was the train ride to the airport when I became especially pumped. I learned about the tournament, our seeding, how many games we had to win to advance to power pools and of course our team, Thor’s Boner!
This was the second year of Thor’s Boner at Paganello but the team had quite the reputation. Apparently we were a talented group of individuals who loved to get beyond drunk and have a good time. Various stories from last year range from stealing liquor from a bar and then one person proceeding to have the longest blackout ever recorded to a team member being locked in a train station one night. I figured I would fit in well. At the airport I met some of the Boner’s. There was team captain Paul, HP friend Mark Ioffe who put the team together and gave me the invite, Mike Fletcher and Tom “T-Bone” Borchert, two other Cambridge bros. Last to meet up at the airport was late pick up Rob Whitehouse aka Cash Money.
Drinking started early with a purchase of Southern Comfort in the airport. I had a good buzz by the time I boarded the airplane and proceeded to make small talk with the flight attendants who weren’t too thrilled with the bottle I had brought aboard. After landing, the seven of us made it to the hotel, which was very nice and checked into our rooms. We then headed into town and had an early dinner at some Italian restaurant and had some amazing pizza. After that we hit up the store for some important purchases. The theme for Thor’s Boner this week was….Jagerbombs! Jagerbombs! Jagerbombs! We purchased a few bottles of Jager and instead of blowing our money on Red Bulls we looked for a cheaper energy drink. I made the unwise choice of selecting Burn, which after cracking the first one we realized was red. Ok well we’ll see what happens. We also got some cheap beer and brought all the stuff back to the hotel.
After a few beers and maybe a couple Jagerbombs we headed to the beach and tournament central to check it out. While walking up the beach I saw the Horned Melons playing some pick up on one of the fields. This was a mixed team out of Philly that consisted of some players that I have played with slash know. There was Tim, Trey, Kyle, Kleaveland, Eugene as well as a couple others. After some mingling and talk of the Philly Open team I walked around the beach. We bought some things and headed back to the hotel to start the real drinking.
In a span of about an hour, Rob and I downed about 10 Jagerbombs. Everyone else joined in the process but we were going at it to see who would do more during the tournament. (I think I ended up around 31) A little before 9pm, another Boner arrived to our hotel, Tom “Classic” Ditchfield. Within ten minutes and a couple more Jagerbombs I proceeded to spew red liquid out the second story window. A good first impression! We headed to the beach where the opening ceremonies were as well as the party. This was a blast. The opening ceremony was pretty cool and the scene was just ridiculous. Free wine and shitty pasta were handed out. We mingled, drank, talked about tomorrow and had a great time. I met some people who I had met before as well as some other players I have come across in my Frisbee days abroad. Highlights of the night include Kyle and I knocking Tim over and then Tim wrestling Kyle. Around midnight I wandered to the boardwalk and ended up passing out on a bench for some time period. I woke up to find Mike drunk on the beach and not much else so we decided to head back to the hotel. I thought the party was over but apparently it just moved inside the tent. Classic rookie move. Ended up passing out around 1 am, which was pretty early, especially since our first game on Friday wasn’t until the afternoon.
Instead of getting more sleep that I desperately needed, I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. Excitement I guess. I headed to the beach to watch the Horned Melons play some scrub squad. It wasn’t much of a game but I enjoyed watching people I knww. Also Raph was around so I got to talk to him. He was playing for UTI, which was a bunch of Clapham guys and the number 1 seed in the tournament. We were hanging out by our fields when I met the rest of the team. First was Charlie Nordstrom who greeted me by taking out a salami and demanding I had to be rubbed in the face before getting a piece. Also there was Graeme Moffat and player/coach Kevin Walsh who was not going to be playing because of an injury. So those were the famous 11 that made up 2010 Thor’s Boner. With only 10 players in a 5 on 5 tournament, the work was cut out.
Our first game was against the top seed in our pool, the German National team. During warm-ups, my legs felt horrible and my throws were off in the wind. The sand was much deeper at Paga than it is in Wildwood. I wasn’t expecting great results but that’s why you play the game. The first point I got a quick D when the person threw the disc right to me and I hit Whitehouse for the first point. The Germans had a great team and responded quickly but I knew I could take advantage of my matchups. I made a big grab to make it 2-1 and gave the team some momentum. In a back and forth game, I played some of my best ultimate. Since they didn’t know me, they were playing me straight up and sometimes even under. Everyone on the team stepped up their game. Rob and I were the primary cutters and we were getting open all day. Then there was Rob “Cash Money” Whitehouse who might be the best handler I have played with. His throws were money all game and it wouldn’t matter the mark or the stall count, he kept boosting perfect floaty discs and I was coming down with everything this game. One especially awesome play was a bail out huge flick from T-Bone that curved the sideline and came back in where I caught it in the endzone for the score, keeping both feet in. After some big plays from the entire team, including a falling over catch by Paul, Whitehouse hit me on a huck where the player fell down and I caught it in the endzone for the upset. I probably had seven of our eleven points. Whatever happened the rest of the weekend, this was good enough. Every game was followed by the fan favorite game “pass the boner” where the team had to pass an inflatable hammer through their team with just their lower body.
After celebrating our victory with a couple Jagerbombs, we enjoyed our time off before our next game. Word was spreading quickly about Thor’s Boner and their monstrous upset. The 24th seed toppling the 8th seed was quite unreal. Our last game of the day was against the 25th seeded French team whose name escapes me. We weren’t crisp but we were better and won easily in the end with a solid run. A great start for the Boner’s. After heading back to the hotel, we showered up and headed out to dinner. Then it hit me. My lack of sleep finally caught up to me and no drug or slaps to the face was going to keep me awake. So sadly and very lame of me, I passed out early. I tried to fight it but the two papers from earlier in the week came back to get me. Fortunately, our first of 4 games was at 9:00 am. Unfortunately, Friday night was a ridiculous night for the Boner’s which included a trip to the famous and legendary bar The Barge. Apparently, Paul was smashed with a bottle to the face, which he proceeded to smash a bottle across the other guy’s face. He was also punched by the bartender and slapped by the girlfriend of the bottle smasher. Rob was apparently a drunken mess and was ridiculous all night. Also a late night kebab gotten by Mike and Ditchfield, which was a classic Ditchfield move.
I heard all this in the morning at the hotel where I was astonished by all of it. Rob was unconscious and would not make our 9am game, which was luckily against the worst team in the tournament. Ioffe apparently had sex with some polish girl around 6 in the morning. It was also a struggle to wake up Whitehouse but we managed to get him to the fields. A rift had fallen upon the Boner’s as apparently Paul smashed a bottle on one of Kevin Walsh’s friends. Both had their versions of the story, as the whole ordeal was hilarious to me. After getting to the fields, we smoked an addorall laced spliff which was just what I needed. With the sun up and it being the nicest day of Paga, I enjoyed being a little high and just destroying the worst team at Paga. We won like something 16 to 3 and the game included a lot of ridiculousness. Whitehouse was passed out on the sideline. I jumped over some 40 year old French dude in which I turned back to see Ditchfield and Paul just on the ground laughing. It was a classic game, which had become our term for the weekend. Everything was classic, from Ditchfield’s defense to Rob being shitfaced. Classic!
We were recovering from our hangovers and what not and preparing for our game against the 9th seed Freespeed. All we had to do was lose by 2 points or less and we would be in the power pools. Freespeed knew the deal as well and they were warming up with an army of players 45 minutes before the game. We were sitting around and looking for all our teammates. Rob would show up but not be able to play because of being incredibly hungover. We didn’t stand much of a chance but we battled. With a lot of people watching this game, I was pretty pumped to be out there playing. I had one amazing D were I caught up to my guy in the endzone and jumped over his back and got a piece which got the crowd going and a foul call which everyone booed.
Quick Frisbee point. I always play that if there is a disc and both players have a chance and it is cleanly D’ed then there is contact after the fact, I don’t consider that a foul as long as there is no play on the disc. We both had a chance, I made the play and knocked the disc away and then made some contact. Since there was no play I contested the foul call. I agreed that there was contact but it was after the fact that the play had been made. Maybe that’s not the rule but lets be honest, this is a sport without refs so fuck it.
After long discussions the guy took back his call. I was fine with it being contested but whatever. We fell behind 5-2 or something taking too many risks. Plus the wind was picking up which wasn’t helping our cause. Their zone was giving us fits and we became very one-dimensional. I would wait for Whitehouse to get the disc and hope he could get off a huck. Surprisingly this worked somewhat and their deep guy had trouble stopping me. I think I made him cry at one point, no but seriously he was fuming on the sideline. In the end it wasn’t enough and we ended up losing by either 3 or 4. So the miracle run of Thor’s Boner ended. Freespeed celebrated like they won the fucking championship and posed in front of their flag with their shirts off…….gaaaaaaaay. In the long run it was probably good we didn’t make power pools. We were short numbers, tired and drunk.
Our next game wasn’t for a few hours and since our tournament didn’t really matter any more, Rob and I headed to the store for reinforcements in the form of 4 bottles of Jager and a case of Red Bulls, sugar free sadly. We came back to the stands with full steam and everyone seemed excited/worried for what would happen. Jager train commenced and no one was safe. The LSE guys seemed to be enjoying it as well. By the time for our next game against some masters team, we were drunk and not giving a shit. The wind was brutal at this point and we played horrible en route to a bad defeat. I was frustrated with how we played but at the same time was drunk and didn’t care afterward. We ended up dicking on the last team we played that day around 7pm. I believe I passed out mid game on the sideline and missed the rest of the game. The other team said I was disrespecting the game with my actions. I found that especially hilarious.
Dinner Saturday night was probably the worst meal I had there or maybe I just wasn’t hungry. Either way, Saturday night was legendary. More Jager bombs consumed. We hung out with the LSE team who was living across from us in the hotel. Their plan was to get us completely wasted since we were playing each other at 10am the next day. They were rather successful. The night included ridiculous shots and many other drinks. The party at the tent was rocking. Left nut right nut was played as well as other drinking games. Whitehouse and I were going beer for beer while other Boner’s came and left the picture. Eventually we trekked toward the Barge, you know, the place where all legendary nights end. I remember going in and buying a drink. Apparently I passed out on a bench outside (second time.) The walk back consisted of kicking over garbage cans and jumping on cars. (So civilized)
Sunday morning was miserable. We somehow made it to the fields just in time. I stole a chair from the hotel, which was very clutch, and I sat in it for a majority of the game against the LSE team. If we weren’t all wasted we should have cruised to an easy win but this was not the case. We played like shit (no surprise) and the LSE team took advantage and actually played well and beat us….not like we actually cared. There was a post game shot of whisky which of course Rob and I volunteered for…. we both almost vomited.
This is when Paga became less fun. The weather became shit by the start of our 2pm game. I played a couple points but my hip was hurting so I decided to not play most of the game. By this time, the rain had started to move in. We won the game but it was getting bad outside. Cold, windy and rainy on the beach was just miserable. Instead of going back to the hotel and sleeping, I just sat inside the tent. I didn’t feel like sitting in the rain and watching the other games. We had to play at 6pm against a scrub squad, which was not fun at all. Easily worst game of the tournament. It was truly awful outside but we managed to get through it. I felt healthy enough to play, Rob became useful again and we were able to crush their zone.
After a much needed shower, we got ready for the theme party, which was Oscars. The best costume was Charlie and Paul who played Ledger and Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain and Charlie’s hilarious “Jack Fucking Twist.” We pregammed in the hotel room, which was fun, and then we got our last team dinner together which was delicious. The weather was miserable with the rain really coming down but we tried to make the best of it. Ditchfield, Graeme, Walsh and I caught a cab to the party and eventually got in to the place. It was a pretty ridiculous club and everybody was there dressed up and what not. Ditchfield and I celebrated with shots of Jack and rum and cokes which was classic! Having the sunglasses helped and people on my team commented how Jersey I looked dancing on stage. Americans always know! Pretty ridiculous night overall. The place started to thin out around 3am and getting back to the hotel was a pain in the ass. It was pouring rain and freezing and when the bus finally came, we packed into it like refugees. Fuck the rain.
Monday morning brought the Boner’s together for one more game that nobody seemed interested in playing. The game started at 11am when the weather started to break making it half decent out there. I didn’t care at all but once you step on the field you cant help but play to win. We went up early, they came back, it was close. I dropped a couple deep discs, which really pissed me off. We ended up losing on universe point, which sucked but whatever. So the Paga playing was finished but the weekend was still coming to a climax. After a shower and more delicious pizza, Rob and I sat ourselves down in the stands to watch the finals. The mixed finals featured the Horned Melons who had been playing well but ended up losing to some foreign team, I forget who. The girls finals wasn’t that interesting either as Super Hot Pot won easily over the local Rimini team. But everything was setting up for the most exciting final and game of ultimate I have ever watched.
With a lot of red wine and a pre game spliff, a portion of our team had great seats for the UTI vs. Los Tiger final. As previously stated, UTI was a bunch of Clapham guys and Raph. Los Tiger was an All-star team out of the Bay Area that was full of legends. As Americans, we could appreciate what was about to happen. What everyone was looking forward to was the Justin Ford of UTI vs. Beau Kittredge of Los Tiger. Two of the best deeps I have ever seen and they did not disappoint. On the first point a deep huck went up that Beau didn’t come up with but called a foul. After long discussion, the disc was sent back and I agreed with the call. Later in the point, another huck and the same result. During the same point, a third huck went up and again there was a foul called that was debated and contested. We were going crazy in the crowd. Watching these two go at each other was just awesome. The game had some swings. Los Tiger jumped up to a 3-0 lead and UTI came back to tie it at 3 with a massive lay out grab from Raph. It was an incredibly close and exciting game but Los Tiger was too talented. Some of the lines that Los Tiger ran out were just ridiculous and as Paul coined, Bay Area Allstars. Kittredge, Bart Watson, Mac Taylor and Robbie Cahill are some of the best players in the world and them playing together was fun to watch. Beau was getting open under all day as UTI protected the deep and Bart Watson outshined them all and played just incredible ultimate. Of course the final score to end it was a perfect flick huck to Beau from Watson.
The rest of Paga was a good time. That night Whitehouse, Rob and I went to a pub in Rimini where most of the British ultimate players were. Talked to a lot of people and had a few drinks. Tuesday we hung out on the beach for a little as the weather was finally cooperating. A last bit of sun before the flight back to London. Paga was truly a legendary time and one of the best tournaments I have ever been too. I couldn’t rank anything over High Tide but this was as close as it gets. I am hoping it wont be last Paga. It is a tournament that any Frisbee player must play in at least once. Especially when you can play on a team as awesome as Thor’s Boner. Just a great group of people that was such a privilege to be a part of. Classic Paganello…pretty much amazing!
