New Blog Hype

The launch is near. According to sources, the most legendary blog is about to grace this fucking Earth either today or tomorrow. You want to actually read something worth your time, well you better check out "From The Mouths of Legends." Are you as excited as I am? You fucking better be. This is a once in a lifetime event. If you thought I was clever, which i'm not, you need to check out these guys. Your opinions are meaningless, their opinions should be taught in grad schools.

What can you expect from this new blog. Epic-ness of legendary proportions? You're god damn right. Prepare to have your feeble mind blown to bits. Like he said, even this blog will be more legendary than Betchtits. Drink from their cup of knowledge and inhale their fumes of superiority.

Their commentary will provide you with the insight you need to survive this world. Some other quotes from what people are saying.

"I stopped going to the Snar to read this blog" - Tyler Gagnon

"Whats a blog" - Ian Hall

"This shit is gonna be bigger than my twitter account" - Brian Sperling

"You wont" - Alex Vouga

"Shotty kills on that blog." -Jake Rainwater

"My penis is huge." -Cory Palmer

"Its not Johnskies" -Jack Colicchio

"EEEEEEEEEEEE" - Nate Grefe

"I quit playing frisbee to read this blog." - Bartlett Jackson

Anyway, expect "From the Mouths of Legends" to be up soon. Bookmark that shit. Tell your friends, grow a sack, chug a beer and write a blog.

2011 Music

2011 has the potential to be one of the biggest years in music since...well I really don't know. 2010 was very solid but not spectacular. At least for me, Kanye West, Arcade Fire, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Beach House, Jack Johnson and Vampire Weekend all delivered this past year. Ill mention now that Spoon's early 2010 release Transference was a big disappointment but maybe because I hold them to such a high standard.

For 2011, several of my favorite musical artists that have either confirmed or are expected to be releasing a new album.

TV On the Radio - Got the news from Eddie Small via facebook post yesterday. Nine Types of Light expected to be released in the Spring has all the hype that would follow one of the most unique sounds in music and a group that has gotten better with each album.

Blink 182 - Another album expected to hit this Spring. How can you not be a Blink fan. it will be their first album in 8 years and their first since they got the band back together.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - The head shot, for me anyway. Their previous 3 albums have been nothing short of spectactular and waiting 5 years for another is just too long. The down side is John Frusciante leaving the band so the sound will definitely be different. None the less, the hype will be there.

The Strokes - This album has been rumored for some time and popular opinion was that it would be coming out in 2010. It has been confirmed that Angels, their 4th album will be dropping March 22. The question is, will this be a return to their first two masterpieces or a further deviation from their disappointing 3rd album First Impressions Of Earth.

Radiohead - Always there are rumors with Radiohead but its been 4 years since In Rainbows. Nothing sets the music word abuzz than hearing a rumor that Radiohead is releasing an album. Well there is a good chance that we could be seeing them in 2011.

No Doubt - Another band that is back together. Gwen is back with the band that hasn't released an album since the beginning of the last decade. Still waiting for a release date but no doubt it will be in 2011.

Coldplay - 4 great albums in the last decade. Their 5th album should be just as good as their last one and another reason why 2011 is great for music.

Dr. Dre - I should stop getting excited. Haven't we been waiting for this album for like 10 years. But rumors are that this will be the year and with the single Kush already out, it looks like this might actually happen.

More to come.

Vassar Bangers Weekend

This was definitely one of those weekends that you look back on and will point to as being one of the best highlights from college. It took me till my senior year but the Jive Turkey's finally made it to Vassar and in typical Jive fashion, we left quite an impression. It was the perfect tournament, and as a Jive rook, I could not have asked for a better tournament to start my college career.

By Friday 5PM, we had 21 Jive dudes ready to make the 4+ hour (in Matt's case 7 hour) trip to Poughkeepsie, NY to participate in the Huck for Red October. Sidenote on Vassar: Dickinson and Vassar have always been close in almost every aspect. Both are small liberal arts schools, very solid frisbee teams and great party'ers. They have been to almost every Jive Fest and several other Dickinson events so its about time we took part in some of their festivities. 5 cars left ATS including the frisbee van packed with Itkoff riding shotgun, Simon, Gabe and Shapes rounding out the crew. The ride up was great. An awesome crew and in Dan Jones fashion, i made everyone burn a CD for the car. I have never been more impressed with the musical taste of everyone in the car. Nearly every song that came on I enjoyed which is essential for long drives like this. We took a pit stop in Jersey for some MacDos and eventually arrived at Vassar a little after 10PM.

We were fortunate enough to be hosted by Itkoff's friend Zach for the weekend so big ups to him and his housemates. I mean, who would want 21 dudes to stay at their house, well unless they were Jive Turkeys. We pulled out a bottle of Mad Dog that got cannonballed in literally like 2 minutes. I blame Mittens. Luckily I had a secret bottle hidden in my bag plus some admiral so we were good. Before Hartwig arrived, all 3 bottles were killed. Some people decided to stay in the house, claim good bed spots and get some decent sleep. The rest of the team headed to the townhouses or TH's, a magical development of townhouses where drunk college students spill out into the front yards with kegs and everything else you could want from a party. Inside the one house we were at contained some sort of jungle juice that had an assortment of liquids, only one of them being non-alcoholic. Unfortunately, by the time I arrived the keg was kicked and the alcohol was pretty much gone. I hung out for a little before heading back to the house although stopping for some late night pizza slices which were amazing but very expensive. I slept on the floor upstairs where Jack was in a dog bed, Goliath in a closet, Nate being a bitch and sleeping on our hosts bed (What a guy!) and retarded Ian also on the floor. I say retarded because I woke up to him standing in front of Jack about to piss on him but fortunately for Jack and especially Ian, I yelled at him and made him go to the bathroom.

Waking up Saturday was an interesting process but we somehow managed to get to the fields in time for the Goucher game. It was a beautiful morning and the fields were simply amazing. Just seeing the fields made it worth the $300 dollar tournament fee. I didn't get a chance to really warm up and it showed right away. My throws were terrible and I made a lot of stupid turn overs but we were just a better team taking half 7-1. Even if we turned it over, and we did a lot, our defense was solid and Goucher was having a rough morning. A ton of frosh got playing time and the final score ended up being 13-6.

We had a bye next so a lot of people slept off their hangovers. Most us just chilled, enjoying the beautiful weather and watched the Goucher-Vassar game. Seabiscuit wound up announcing some of the game from the scaffold which was awesome and hilarious while Martin got some usual tournament action.

We had a solid warm up before Vassar and looked like the better team throughout the first half despite the score being close. Our starting O-line consisting of myself, Jack, Matt, Nate, Timber, Shine and Simon was getting the job done and didn't get broken the entire day. Our pull play was working well and by the second half, our D joined the party. Vassar seemed to lay down and Jive finished strong with a 13-7 victory.

The rest of Saturday was one of the more enjoyable afternoons I have ever had. We played a very cool and new team Central Connecticut and got the freshman on the field for a ton of playing time as well as certain people playing in spots they would not normally play. While the final score was 13-10, the game was never out of hand. The Vassar B game was even more fun. I played the game barefoot and spent most of the time watching people on the field. Dino, turtle points and ridiculous throws dominated the game while Jive wound up taking the "highly" contested match 13-10. Highlights go to a terrible Ian Hall hammer, a Timber blade that was easily one of the worst throws I have ever seen and Matt showing how to dominate B teams. After some showering and what not, we enjoyed a BBQ which was very sweet by Vassar. Ton of food and a good hang out with the other teams.

By 8:15, we were anxiously awaiting the start of the Vassar version of the HTOD. Jive was ready to go as evident by Timber launching a blade into a crowd.....hilarious stuff. We got separated into 10 teams and began to make our way to the events. Our squad included Itkoff, his boys, The Shiner and Vassar Noah as our captain. We did a "boat race" which turned out to be a stack race except we held the frisbee. This was troublesome because most of the beer spilled onto the floor. There was also some alcoholic basting in the other room. I wasn't feeling my best which figured becasue of the food and the 2 90 minute IPA's I consumed before. The next station was a smoking station and booty juice. This was awesome besides the fact that the booty juice nearly made me puke. One of the most interesting smoking apparatus' I have ever seen was a bowl attached to a frisbee that Radam showed us. Classic Vassar!

The next station was the Party Box which is always a classic station. After trying to chug some warm sparks, I knew I reached my limit. I ran outside and executed a flawless boot and rally. I had never felt better and returned to the party in prime form. I polished off two Colt 45s and was now chugging alcohol at tremendous speeds (love making GZA references). I was humming now and began cheering non stop "Shit, Fuck, Lets get drunk TH's." I think i texted ten people that at random points in the night. And yea I prolly said that 50 times over the course of the weekend. We got to the flip cup station which Shine and I decided to Wolf. It was only somewhat successful as half of the beer ended up on me and moonshine cut his gum. Well shit.

After this it was time to head to the Vassar Depot. I quickly realized that I was not drunk enough to stay here so I went back to the TH's with Sperling and Colicch. We didn't find much but a drunken Joe Stormes and some Ying pounders. AS we walked back, some Vassar DPS caught us and told is to pour out our beers. Stormes, noticeably drunk was asked if he was a student which he responded with "Yes...I mean No, Yes, No!" Luckily they were real cool and let us leave without incident. Being 21 is nice! The rest of the night for me was lackluster. The dance floor consisted of some Jive, noticeably Simon sucking face with some girl against the wall for a while. After some homo-erotic Jive dancing, Itkoff and I left for the TH's and chilled at some random party for a while. I feel like this happens a lot at Vassar. By 1:30 we left and got some food and i was asleep in the house probably around 2. While my night was fairly avg. other Jivers carried the weight. Stormes puked on a Vassar kid. Shine broke into a random Van with some girl, Jack took something and left his glasses but got them back, Simon and Gabe slept at the fields, Goliath in more closet's, Jack winning morning parties, Posey showing why they call him King Pose (ok that's only me), Gardner slept under a mattress, Sperling drank some loco bombs. The rest of the stories not mentioned simply pass into Jive Lore. A place where things may or may not have happened.

Sunday morning came and somehow everyone showed up to the field around 10pm for our semi;s game against Ramapo. I felt great and was ready to go but some of the team was definitely not in any shape to play. Ramapo threw a zone which we were not ready for. Fortunately, Matt played savior and was huge in the first half. I was launching backhand bombs and he came down with everyone. After being down 5-3, we took half 8-7. I stressed to the team that if we picked up our defense the game would not be anywhere near close and their zone would be ineffective. While we had some trouble on offense, our D was horrendous in the first half, mainly due to being lazy. Jack returned for the second half and began popping very effectively . Their cup grew tired and we started scoring with relative ease. Our D stepped up and clamped down and we jumped out to a 13-7 lead and finished off the scrappy Jersey squad 15-9.

This set up a rematch with Vassar in the final who had just beaten their alumni squad on universe point. I knew this would not be the same Vassar team that we beat yesterday. It showed when our O-line got broken on the first point which was rare. Our deep game was off but we kept putting it which put us in a hole. Our D was also lackluster as we were playing uninspired ultimate, expecting to cruise to an easy victory like we did on Saturday. Vassar had a big crowd behind them and they took half 8-5. They opened up the second half with a quick score to make it 9-5. We couldn't seem to break the Vassar momentum trading points until it was 11-7. We received the disc and turned it over. It was at this moment when the switched turned on. Matt and Simon were harassing the throwers with big marks while Jack and I had huge layout D's on in cuts to close the gap to 11-9. Jack was getting called for fouls all day by a guy who was having trouble getting open on him all game. Bad call after bad call didn't deter him when he came up with a huge catch D and yelled "disc don't lie!"

Again with the disc, Nate roasted his defender up line where Jack hit him with a push pass to make it 11-10. Nate emphatically threw the disc to the ground showing emotion for the first time ever. Jive showed pure guts as the score was tied 13-13. After a long point, we took the 14-13 lead knowing that we were going to win it on this next D point. After getting the turn, we worked it up with some big cuts and eventually got the disc to myself where I broke my defender with a quick flick to an open Matt to seal an epic comeback win and championship for Jive 15-13.

To be down 11-7 to the home team in the championship and win the game was something I was very proud of. Jive doesn't play a lot of big competition and winning this tournament to start the year was an incredible feeling. It definitely made the near 5 hour drive back much more manageable. Again, one of the best weekends of my college career.

The Dickinson Caf Series - (Part 1: The Hot Shave)

So I am currently writing my senior thesis on the memory of James Wilson. Pretty disappointing stuff right there since I had always planned on writing it on the greatest and most magical place on campus (maybe Earth), that's right...the Caf! Anyone who disagrees with me is just plain wrong and kind of lame. My best memories and time spent at Dickinson College have been in the Caf. From one bites to Jello races to range discussions to awkward sex position napkin drawings to same siding, my bonds of friendship with Jive have grown through the Caf. The Jive Table has been a staple of my college career and the times spent there after practice, delaying trips to the lib, sobering up on a weekend morning or just simply procrastinating from doing anything were truly special.

Now while the Caf offers good and bad, there is no other place that is so important to your Dickinson College career. Over my 4 years I have sat and learned from some of the biggest caf legends Jive has ever seen. Starting back during Freshman year with Chappers and DJ. These guys were still on traditional and never turned down a great Weekend morning caf sit. Chappers even had to take a dump twice during one of these. Fast forward to today with The Fish, who still has the record for chicken tenders in one sitting. Tell me a time you were in the caf and this kid wasn't. Doesn't exist. The guy had 4 bowls of potato soup and 4 cokes and it wasn't even 11: AM yet! Coffee black, none of that weak shit.

I have always loved the caf and it is about time that it has been broken down. I want to explore the ins and outs, the good and bad and all the rest. The secrets, the cycles, the meals and everything in between. Because nothing pisses me off more than freshman coming back with plates that look like puke. So in this 10 part series, I will dissect everything that comes to mind about the best place on campus!

As Martin Luther King Jr famously said: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity of your own Cafeteria!"

Part 1: The Hot Shave

Any veteran Caf student already knows that on average, lunch is better than dinner. A big reason for this are the Hot Shave sandwiches. No matter what that menu may bring and trust me, sometimes it can be bad, the hot shave will consistently deliver satisfaction. Whether you are getting two of them to make your meal or just one as a nice side dish to your plate of chicken nugs, the Hot Shave is a simple warm deli meat sandwich that gets the job done. Now lets remember, all hot shaves were not created equally. The Caf offers seven varieties of the sandwich, 4 regular weekly sandwich's and 3 special hot shaves that cycle every week. Lets break these down.

The Usual Suspects

Roast Beef: Statistically the most popular Hot Shave. One of the big reasons for this Hot Shave being so popular is the Au Jus that accompanies it. The Roast beef is the most tender of the Shave's and dipped in Au Jus gives you your own French Dip for lunch. Combine that with it's popular cheese compliment Pepper Jack, and you have one delicious sandwich for lunch. For those who want more, some put tiger sauce on their Roast beef, while others will either grill or microwave their sandwiches to either melt the cheese more and get the bread nice and toasty. While there are times bad batches of beef that are dry and fatty, A good Hot Shave Roast Beef sandwich is hard to beat.
Ranking: 9/10

Roast Turkey: The first of three turkey options and probably my favorite. While some complain that the Turkey is too dry, I often find the Roast Turkey surprisingly moist and flavorful. While this sandwich won't save you from a crappy lunch, it is a great compliment to a chicken dish. My favorite paring for this sandwich would be on Cycle 1 Monday lunch when the Buffalo Chicken Penne Stir Fry with Blue Cheese is on the grill. You could even eat this sandwich while you wait in line!
Ranking: 7/10

Smoked Turkey: The second of the turkey options and probably the worst. Honestly do you know what smoked turkey means in the Caf.....dry turkey. The smoked turkey doesn't actually add any smoky flavor, it is just a dry version of the roast turkey. While in the past I have elected for one of these, today I don't even bother. Who the fuck wants dry turkey! Not even melted cheese or cream of mushroom soup can save this one.
Ranking: 3/10

Baked Ham/Pork Tenderloin: Maybe the least popular sandwich because of the large Jewish population. Neeeeeeeever. Seriously though, while I like Ham, there are probably less than 10 percent of lunchers that get this menu item. And for some reason, baked ham is always on days with the worst menus. For example: Cycle 3 Wednesday -Baked Ham paired with 3 foot cheese steak grinder and baked macaroni and cheese. O yea and the grill: Marsala chicken salad with grapes. These are the days where you just say fuck it and get grab and go. The Ham is consistent and salty and goes well with a little melted Swiss. Not ideal but what is these days. Note: Pork Tenderloin sometimes subs but it is honestly just dry thick ham.
Ranking: 5/10 (Pork Tenderloin 4/10)

Specialty Shaves.

Corned Beef: One of the special shaves and one of my favorites. Again it is because I am actually Jewish. Seriously though, the corned beef is a fantastic hot shave. You can never get a bad batch of this meat. Always tender and flavorful with a hint of spice, the Corned beef can save a lunch with its perfection. A very consistent hot shave. Note: They serve it on shitty rye bread. The best way to eat beef is to hit up the deli for a potato bun and grill it. I like it I like it a lot. Ranking: 9/10

Pastrami: If you ask me, I can't tell the difference between the two meats. Both however are delicious. T Gags rates it number 1 on it with swiss on rye. Moonshine also prefers the Pastrami. Again, I like to avoid getting it on the rye bread. It honestly ruins the sandwich for me. Anytime they offer the Corned Beef or the Pastrami, i am getting two of these bad boys.
Ranking: 8/10

Pepper Turkey: The last of the Turkey's and probably the most polarizing hot shave. Of the three speciality hot shaves, this one can either be amazing or disappoint like no other. Just ask Nate Grefe aka Sir Bitch a Lot, "Pepper Turkey on a good day. With pepper jack cheese, it's tender and very flavorful and all the spices are great together. Other times it is dry and tastes like dog shit." I am not a huge fan of the Pepper Turkey but it can hold its own. Ranking: 5/10

Overall, the Hot Shave is the heart and soul of lunch. I get it 90 percent of the time I am there and am constantly satisfied with them. Before I reveal my favorite, lets take a look at what some other Hot Shave veterans have to say.

The Fish: "Roast Beef for the delicate interplay of flavor between beef and the spices of pepper jack; a meaty yet spicy combo."

Who? Dan Jones: "Roast Beef because it is served with tiger sauce and you can get it with double pepper jack. Probably top 5 caf dishes period!"

Voodoo: "Depends on the day but I'm a huge fan of ham but only with cheddar. It's delicious, doesn't need any condiments, and is always consistent.

Schachter: Roast Beef with pepper jack but only if its good. The new roast beef last year was pretty shit. I'd probably say roast turkey with provolone because of all the fixings you can do with it. Consistently good!

So as you can see, there is no consensus. But what is important is more than just the meat. The cheese, bread, sauce and other fixings are just as essential to a great Hot shave. For me, I am going with the Corned Beef with double American cheese grilled on a potato bun to a nice brown finish. Give me two of these and some waffle fries and I am good to go. So what is your favorite hot shave?

Check back next time for Part 2 of the Caf

His Name? Number 2

Imagine this situation: You are walking out of class heading to the caf and BOOM; you need to take a monster dump. While you have time to decide where to go, you need to make a decision quickly. So what do you do? Where is the best place to take a dump on campus? Sure some people may have private bathrooms in their homes but some people aren't fortunate enough to have that privilege and still live where they did as freshman. So for all you incoming freshman who never get the actual guidance and lowdown needed during a tour or orientation, here are some important notes and places to take a dump on campus.

Top 3

1. Library 1st Floor Bathroom -Ok we all knew this one.....or did we? While it may not smell great, the 1st floor library bathroom offers what others can't: full privacy. Located in the center of campus, this bathroom is a single toilet in a lockable room (which some people forget to use....come on people! I'm not trying to walk in on you). There is nothing better than taking care of business in private. No need to rush or worry about other people hearing you in action. Great for that lib study break and the guy in the temple hat who always sits next to it. I feel ya buddy.

2. Althouse Basement - What is the first thing you check out in a brand new or renovated building, yep....the bathrooms. While they do offer a private unisex bathroom in the basement, the men's bathroom in the basement is beautiful. In near pristine condition, the bathroom features two stalls that seem nearly untouched. Because of it's location, it is rare that you will be disturbed. The cleanliness and smell is unbeatable and the high tech hand warmer is something out of a sci-fi movie.

3. Stern Basement - Similar to the above entry with some slight changes. Very little traffic flows through the Stern basement so again, you are unlikely to be disturbed. The bathroom is slightly larger than Althouse and almost reminds me of a 4 star hotel lobby bathroom with its dim lights and beautiful floor tile pattern.

Some other notes:

-Avoid Denny Bathroom if you can. Not only is the smell awful, you are bound to walk into one of your professors in there. Trust me, nothing is more awkward than the conversations that happen there

-If you ever need to go in the HUB, always use the basement of the HUB. Always less crowded. Try to avoid taking a deuce during meals there. Always people coming in and out.

-Some would think Rector is nice but I disagree. First of all, every time the handwarmer goes off I get a heart attack for how loud the thing is. Secondly, the automatic flush always goes off even when you are still taking a shit. These things are supposed to save water? How is that possible when the toilet flushes 5 times during 1 shitting. Idiots!

-If you are ever in the Kline, never use the locker rooms. Always go to the bathroom behind the wall climbing area.

-And remember: dropping a deuce should be a relaxing and reliving experience. When you are going, you want to find a peaceful and clean spot to maximize the enjoyment. Nothing is worse than an un-enjoyable shit or having to rush etc. Catch your breath and think, find the right spot, take time out of that boring lecture or to avoid being called on and enjoy.

PS: keeping a magazine or Dickinsonian handy in your backpack never hurts. Having enjoyable reading material for a deuce is always nice.

Also get pumped for Justin Bieber: Never Say Never movie. Trailor is on IMDB. It's gonna be in 3D!